prelude

[chaos]

well, directly after i wrote my explaination to everyone, imlost a 2 month battle with a brand new computer, that arrerently was sold with a bad C drive that onboard diagnostics wouldn't catch. a third patry diagnostic disc fsailed it 10n straight runs. i fully recovered the fucking for the third time in two months, loaded almost nothing on it, ran chkdsk a dozen times and FAIL, FAIL, FAIL. so in finally did what i shoulkd have neen smart enough to do after a week, took it back. i've gone from computer idiot, to just computer handicapped..lol

anyway right after that my wife and i nsplit..purely because dramsa caused by my 22yr old daughter. spent 3 weeks in a motel with shit internet. did some research and found that an N wireless adapter could help, so in put out the100 bucks...and two days later i'm back home 5 feet from my router. aaaagod has a strange sense of humor, but i really do think this disasterous chapter of my life is quickly comming to a close. it ain't even close to perfect, but i have HOPE for the first time in months. if ever there was a time that i would bitch out and eat a .45, it woulkd have been in the last two months.

anyway boys and girls, i know you've heard this before, and please believe when i say something i mean it, life was just beating me down. everytime it looked better, BAM, s0omething even worse happened.

i'm home, rebuilding my office and ready to serve you. that's the way i see it. it is my job to take care of you, and i surely have sucked at that for six months. it breaks my fucking heart. i keep my word at all cost, even after i realize that it could hurt me. in feel that i've let everyone down, especially myself.

i know the whole thing is tough to get your mind around, i'm not 100% sure that i have, but i think i have a pretty clear picture, and it gets clearer daily, which isn't always good. my family turned there backs on me when i needed them most, because " i was acting weird......

you're a guy, pain beyond all immagination in tour cock amd balls, convinced you're about to die...not wondering, 100% sure tthat nobody could live through that kind of pain and then spend 4 months wondering, doubting whether you'd ever function as a man again.

and it's some kind of a supprise that i was acting like a nut??? i'm fortunate i didn't have a complete breakdown. might not have been too far off.

anyway i'll get to the last thread to respond, but now i'm on a mission to get this machine rebuilt and ready for anything.

i'll gert to the PMs, but if it's been a while and still important PLEASE write it again. i see 2 month old PMs, i assume thst i'm on asshole status and you've given up on me.

love and respect for each and every one of you.

c

[Realize]

It's gonna take more than that for you to attain "asshole status". Your life has been very tough lately and you have to take care of you priorities. Like I said before we will be here when you're ready to come back. I wish you the best of luck and I'm happy to see that things are starting to turn around for you.

[akamai]

Well i could jump on that but when a mans "balls" are involved it just hurts too much.

Heal well OBE WON.

Akamai

[over55]

I wish you the best and it is good to see things are turning around for you. You have our prayers and support, we are behind you.

[Thinkbig]

Its Good To See You Bro, I Hope Things Look Up In Your Life Soon.

God Knows I Could Use Some Good Luck In Mine.

[Pirate]

You will pull through. It sounds like your attention is needed at home more than online. Take of yourself and family first. Life will go on for those in the community. Best Wishes, Brother.

[thunder]

Boss glad to see ya back.

[krzna]

bIg BoSs Is BaCk

Bro - we are always here for you - this ship is NEVA gonna sink you got our word - come back and we always have the respect for you in our hearts. You've earned it over the years and there is nothing that is gonna take that away.

[upondeez]

When it rains it pours Big C! Stay slow and low while you put the pieces back together, it will work out for you as the good Karma you have earned will eventually catch back up!

[ajdos]

Good to see you back big dawg- hope life takes a turn for the better.

[956Vette]

Happy to hear from you buddy

[vindiesel]

I'm glad you're safe and sound, chaos

[~R~F~G~]

Glad your not dead... LOL, Ya know there are alot worse things than not posting for a little while.. We're going to be here..

[SJA]

Life is a journey Bro. The good times...the bad. When you are shitting in your diaper later in life, all you will have are your memories. Good or bad you will be telling your stories. This was just a suspenseful chapter in your story. It always evens out so you must have some good shit coming on the horizon. Hang in there....keep your chin up and keep moving toward the next chapter. You made it through some tough times. You can make it through anything now.

Good to see you back.....we were all worried.