Official OffShoreBodyBuilding post whore thread

[Mastadon]

A woman walked up to a bald little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?"
"I take huge amounts of testosterone every week, as well as growth hormone, DNP, winstrol, deca, T3 and diuretics. Besides that I party hard every weekend, take ecstasy, cocaine and drink like hell"
"That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?" "Twenty-six," he said.

[Mastadon]

"Congress today conducted an under cover investigation of steroids in baseball. Their conclusion -- the Chicago Cubs are just months away from getting nuclear weapons." --Craig Ferguson

[Mastadon]

"Congress is investigating steroid use in baseball. Apparently we've cured cancer and all the other problems of the world so now were starting on this one." --Jay Leno

[Mastadon]

Arnold Schwarzenneger took his car into the garage
for a tune up.The mechanic looked at it and said
" Ah, looks like there's something wrong with your points?"
Arnold snapped back," No,I don't have any weak points!"

[Mastadon]

Definition of Pro-hormones - Hormones that have lost their amateur status.

[Mastadon]

You Know You're a Dedicated Trainer When...

[Mastadon]

1. If, on a job application, under "Previous Employment," you've listed weight training and under "Hobbies" you've listed your actual previous employment.

[Mastadon]

2. If you've ever made yourself so sore that it either takes you a full minute to sit on the toilet or you have to fall down onto it.

[Mastadon]

3. If you've been banned from an all-you-can-eat buffet restaurant.

[Mastadon]

4. If you've ever broken a bone and tried to "train around it."

[Mastadon]

5. If you're buying a home and the first thing you look for is where your training equipment will go (not how big the kitchen is or if there's a furnace or running water or anything like that).

[Mastadon]

6. If you've ever mentally calculated the protein content of a piece of your own birthday cake.

[Mastadon]

7. If you'd vote for Arnold Schwarzenegger regardless of of his views, policies or even what he's running for.

[Mastadon]

8. If everybody you know asks you to help them when they move because you can lift heavy things.

[Mastadon]

9. If Navy Seal training "looks like fun."