Floggin' the bishop

[MP]

I can't take all this beating off while I'm on juice! I've began growing velvet in the palms of my hands. I wake up with the bishop in my hand and he's shooting fire out of his head. I try to lay on my hands so they will fall asleep and that way if I do choke him out it will at least feel like someone else is doing it. I just ordered a special pair of Isotoner genital gloves designed to absorb semen. I'm tired of nutting into my old tube socks. I'm not sure but I kinda think this 5000mg of test ed has got something to do with why my cock is now bent hard to the right. It looks kinda funny but now I can beat off around corners. I'm going in for surgery this week. Penile derived carpal tunnel syndrome ain't no joke! I'm gonna take yoga lessons while I'm rehabbing so I can jack it on down with my feet. Man this thing gets so hard I can't turn the skin on it with a monkey wrench. Any suggestions??

[Robyn]

just one, wash your hands before handling food.

[MP]

I can't eat anymore. My hands are drawn up and now resemble claws. I'm going to take a job as a hand model for Red Lobster. I'm thinking about going in for rapid masturbation detox. They will put me under with a massive dose of anesthesia then force feed drugs i.v. into my system inducing 3 months of masturbation withdrawal into 6 agonizing hours. And when I wake up I will be on anti-beat medications for the next 9-12 months. It is highly controversial, but since it's inception, only 5 patients out of a staggering 300+ have backslid into the shameful handjive syndrome , clinically known as THE FRONT HAND SHIMMY. If this doesn't work then I will most likely end up at local peep shows playing "paint the screen" with pee wee herman.

[FlatLine]

You have our support, we know you can Beat this!

[Robyn]

Its ok MP, Its ok. Read the thread in the steroid section titled(can someone shed some light on this) or something like that. It might cheer you up. Btw you're a pretty nutty guy, no pun intended.