[Dirrtyplaya]

Sparks, that was quite a tare you went off on there!!! I couldn't help but to connect with you and really want to give you my advice as well. You see about a 2 years ago I was a chub was. 215lbs at a height of 5'9" and I was disgusted with myself entirely. I was lazy, sedentary and ate any junk I so pleased. Then I decided to change and dieted down and ran my ass off and worked the abs. I hardly touched weights though and got down to less then 140 lbs. Yeah, that's more than a bit too light. Then I became disgusted with myself once again for being a skinny-ass punk. So what did I do this time? I got over my fear of putting on a few extra pounds, and like the other guys said, ate 6-7 times a day of good, clean foods. I supplemented with whey, protein and creatine. I ate clean sourced carbs, lean meats and healthy fats at every meal making sure I was getting about 150-225 grams of protein a day. You need decent sleep at night and enough water to drink after you eat and before, during and after your workouts. A simple foundation? Of course but you have to apply all of this and be consistent. Get a solid strength training program with a partner to assist with the intense, heavy lifting you must do every other day. Your gifted brother perhaps can lend you a hand. I said this a few times before in other posts but the best way to muscle up is to work large muscle groups simutaneously. Compound lifts such as squats, bench presses, barbell/dumbell rows, deadlifts, etc... will slap on muscle like you would not believe. How much do I weigh now at a low body fat %? When I found and applied a solid eating and workout program I put on 40 lbs and now weigh 180lbs. It only took me about 6 months to do that. Oh that was all natural by the way. I thought I was a hardgainer for the longest time but I don't believe they exist unless there is some kind of physical, medical condition preventing muscle gain. One more thing. Read a book called The Testosterone Advantage Plan. It helped me get over the same thing you are going through. Best of luck and stay on board here.