Right then, I'm so pissed off with weight training, I'm just going to come out with it...
I'm 25 years old, I'm about 150lbs I have done one cycle already and I know I probably shouldn't have done that but anyway...
I'm sick of being skinny! I hate it! muscle dysmorphia I hear you say, well spot on, I do suffer from this and have done in a big way.
So then you say, solution - bodybuilding, seems simple enough
but is it?
I've read so many books, magazines, articles, websites on every aspect of bodybuilding and I've gained next to nothing, I've tried everything, different training programs, paid close attention to diet and resting, everything you can think of and I've looked at it!
I know more than most people I know that weight train, take my brother for instance, he doesn't do all the reading I do, he just picked up some dumbells one day and just started growing! do you know how much that pissed me off?
I thought I'd give steroids ago, and I know people go on about not using roids till you reach your natural limit blar blar blar, but I was desperate, I couldn't go on the way I was, wearing a t-shirt and a shirt on those hot days in the summer, keeping myself covered in stupidly hot conditions..
so onto the steroids I went, I did gain a load of strength but no muscle, what the hell was I doing wrong? I thought I'd at least gain some muscle on roids but no I didn't
I just don't get it!? I'm not going to touch roids until I know what I'm doing wrong, and until I have gained a load of muscle naturaly, I know I must be doing something wrong, or is it just me? do I have a hormone deficiency? have you ever heard of anyone having the crapest genetics that they just can't gain any muscle what so ever??
I know you might say get yourself some proffesional help to get this muscle dysmorphia sorted out but the only cure I want is to be bigger! all I want is to be 28lbs heavier, is it really too much to ask??
I've always said that if I get to put on that 28lbs and I still feel the way I do now, I will go and seek help.
so come on guys, anyone got any idea what I'm doing wrong?
these are the things I've looked at:
1) drop sets, super sets etc..
2) training 3 times a week
3) training 4 times a week
4) training 5 times a week
5) diet, carbs, protein, fats, etc..
6) sleeping
7) exercise form
8) different exercises
9) number of sets and excercises in each training session
10) length of training sessions
11) rest between sets
I've tried everything...
I forgot to mention I work out at home and a I hear you say 'join a gym, its the only way' well I can't join a gym until I have got a little bigger, this muscle dysmorphia is ruling my life and there isn't a chance I could join a gym just yet.
and besides, my bro worked out at home and made some great gains, so I should be able to, shouldn't I?
so what the hell is wrong with me? should I go and talk to the doctor and ask for some tests or something? I'm just so confused and pissed off BIGTIME and it doesn't help when my bro comes into the room flexing his muscles.
I need help, so please help!! anyone??
what do you think of this?
http://www.skinnyguy.net/index.html
I'm so F***ing pissed off about all this, all the time, money and effort I've put in and all that for nothing
BUT
I'm so bloody determined to make this happen
